The Mind Dungeon of the Consulting Criminal
by Pandora Mere
Summary: Reichenbach spoilers in some! Drabbles about Moriarty's mind. They'll all be pretty different from each other though but rating for language and most likely slash. Bad summary, best read it to judge.
1. Chapter 1

1. It's Cracking

(I like to think that Jim Moriarty's a bit schizophrenic. And that Jim is one of his personalities, and Richard Brook is real, but Moriarty's just a construct.  
And Richard knows it, and he's scared. Of Jim.  
So within, whilst he's trying to hide that he's a nice guy and that sometimes he just goes all Jeckyl and Hyde and then Moriarty's there destroying everything Richard doesn't want to be destroyed, he's sad, and he thinks.  
He thinks a lot.)

Me. I'm a Fucker. Bastard. Punishable by death please.

But I'm not. Thought would get better. The mask was too fucking strong so no one can see past.

No one can _help me please._

He does those things, not ME.  
Oh great I'm crying now.  
He'll hurt me. My body. Fuck is he me? Am I him?  
I'm so fucking scared. I thought it'd stop after I got more sleep and looked after my health but it just got worse and worse and worse until _he_got us arrested and now I'm going to have to do something.

He killed people loads and hurt families and god I'm breaking I can't stand this much more oh fuck oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I'll burn in hell because of what he made me do oh my god.

God help me. I know. I know. I'll do it and he won't be able to stop me I'll kill us.

_Why can't you see the pain in my eyes, Sherlock? You're meant to be so fucking smart and you're looking right fucking at me and you can't see the struggle. I am Richard Brook, Sherlock Holmes WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME._

Oh god I'm crying again.

I'll kill us. Both of us. He won't leave the world unless I kill myself.  
Don't kill yourself I don't know what he's doing but oh my god I can't cancel the order I don't know what it is he just made it up there _is no way to stop them apart from seeing you fall._

You're going to kill yourself for your friends.  
Fuck I'm going to kill _myself_ for the _world_ or everything will burn that's what he wants because he's insane. _I'm insane_.  
This is going to hurt. Not enough though. Not enough to make what HE did okay. What he did with my body.  
What he did to those kids, that old woman, all those people.

I hope there's no hell because if there is I'm going there oh my god he's gone it's me.  
I have to do this.

I can't do this.

_Yes I can.  
I __**have to do this. I have to die.**_

God bless you Sherlock Holmes. God bless you.  
Did I say that out loud? Oh god I'm fucking crying _again._  
One split second of agony and I'm gone. Floating. Blackness. Please be dead. Please. Am I dead or just dreaming. Fuck…. Please… _please be dead, Jim, please be dead. _

_Why am I so warm… God I'm still alive. I can feel the sun. No. No please, don't live. Don't fucking live. No. No..  
Please just don't let me live… _


	2. Chapter 2

Not _my_ fault really.

Used to be normal,

Dull.

Ordinary.

_An Angel._

Until it happened.  
That girl.

The one that died. All started with her.  
Didn't love her, God no. Barely knew her. Went to the same school. Different classes. Different years.  
Her class went on some weekend trip. She never came back. Trip was cut short.

She'd been killed. Raped. Maybe not in that order, never specified.  
Everyone cried. Even kids who bullied her. There were many of these.  
I didn't cry. It clicked. I didn't care she'd died. Just some girl.

Teachers looked worried when in memorial assembly I didn't cry. Told mother to talk to me.  
I told her I didn't care. She never asked again. Think it scared her.  
Was taken to therapy once. Never went again. Acted normal. Sad. Worried. Scared.

They said I was just in denial. It worked. I wasn't in denial. It was all clear.

Left school. Packed what I needed. Left. Got a train into Dublin city then to Belfast. Got ferry to Scotland. Never looked back.

Was introduced to explosives in Belfast. Found out how to make petrol bombs, car bombs. That sort of thing.  
Got bored of all the political reasons behind it though. How.. Dull.  
Spent some time in Edinburgh, bribed/threatened my way into a course at the University. Got bored of that before graduation and made my way to London. And that's where all the fun began.


End file.
